Our Obsession over taking

you might want to spell chick.

Mon, 04 Sep 2006 13:54:31 GMT

Chapter 1...

I smile and frown at the thought of eternity alive. Well, able to breath like none other. I out lived my family and all of my friends. Of course, this is natural for an immortal, but to the world around me, I'm the devil. A blood thirsty heartless murderer, who spares no mercy to his victims.

No I’m not the devil… very excruciate-ingly blood thirsty, but heartless? No… even though my mortal heart has long stopped beating and my immortal blood has killed most of my human emotions, my heart still lives on. I still do feel, compassion, sorrow, guilt… love… but the blood has rid me of hate, remorse, and meager useless regrets.

As for the mercy of my victims well… that depends on how you look at it. They sometimes die quick and painless… or they can be my play things, giving me a feeling of power. Truthfully, being an immortal makes me feel like God. I’m just the kid with a magnifying glass over a mountain of ants on a bright sunny day. Only my prey, are mere mortals afraid to die and to worried to live with what sweet precious time life has given them.

So as I sit here on a rather delightful night gazing at the full moon, pondering eternity. I can’t help but to remember what I have done with my extended given time. All the blood savored on my parched lips, all the lives that I’ve taken, all the years that I’ve lived… my brother…

That thought quickly erased the smile from my pale face. My brother…

I haven’t seen him for eternities it seems. In reality it’s only been a few centuries. Though that may seem like a lot of time to a mortal, to a vampire it’s not. To be honest, I still feel quite young.

Oh and we were young. Way too young to be brought into this world of darkness. I was only 16, almost 17 when it happened. I would’ve been in a few weeks. But those few weeks would came, after all no one can stop time and I became a 17 year old boy. Then another year and I, Benjamin Combs became 18, then, then 20, and before I knew, I was 200 years old.

Still, I'll never forget the night it happened. The shadows that night racing home; I was filled with fear and… thirst.

I was far too young to live forever… I was too young to curb my thirst.

But I was old enough to make the biggest mistake of my entire life…

That night I blooded my brother…

I was frightened! Absolutely pissing my pants, scared out of my mind afraid, but not of my sudden thirst for blood. No, I was scared of living eternity all alone. THAT frightens me. I hate being alone.

”Please Joel! Come on it’ll be so much fun! We’ll get to live forever just me and you. We won’t let anyone, or anything come between us. Oh my god Joely it’ll be so much fun!” I begged as I jumped up and down on our bed excitedly as you stared up at me still half asleep, but waking up.

“I don’t know Benj… aren’t we a little young?” he bit his lip nervously as he looked into my eyes, our hands locked tightly as he pulled me down to sit with him. His eyes, of course, trailed down to my newly grown fangs and his thumb kept moving edgily against skin that felt as cold as death.

“Joel this is everything we’ve always talked about… this is what we’ve always wanted. Who cares if we’re young? I don’t! We can go out all night and sleep the entire day away. We’ll never grow old like Grandma and Grandpa. We’ll never die Joel, we’ll live forever! We’ll see all the faces of this world!” I squealed excitedly trying not to cut my tongue on my new sharp teeth.

“But that’s just it Benj! I want to grow old! I want to-”

“Why would you want to grow old? So you can go through all that pain like Nana did?” I asked almost furiously.

“NO Benj it’s just… it’s what people do! They grow old with the one that they love and they die… this is just... unnatural," he whimpered as he wrapped his arms around my body tightly, I could feel him shiver as I held him sadly.

“So you don’t want to be with me…? Spending all eternity together?”

“I-… I just don’t know Benj… I don’t know if I could be… if I could be a… v-vampire,” he whispered weakly... fearfully. He was afraid of me. My own flesh and blood, my twin, my other half... my lover was scared of me.

“Oh… I see… I-I… damn it I have to go…” I stuttered pushing him forcefully away from me before he could see the tears in my eyes.

“What? Why? Benji you can’t leave me!” he whimpered as he reattached himself to my cold immortal body.

“I can’t sit here and watch you get sick and age Joel! I just can’t stay here and watch you waste away till you die! Ok I can’t… I’m not strong enough! I never have been and I never will be strong enough to lose you and not kill myself!” I wiped away the tears before they fell. "Please Joely… its eternity… just the two of us…” I continued to beg.

“Is it gonna hurt?” he asked fearfully.

“Just a little but then it’s over…”

“Ok…”

“Just think Joel… we’ll be immortal…”

Immortality… Heh, faintly not all it’s cracked up to be. It grows old and stale after the first century.

Sure Joel and I were together for a long time, we drank our town dry. Living in harmony in each other’s arms. We had all that we wanted and more. But the sweet warm liquid of life would soon go bitter in our cursed blood stained mouths.

Lestat… He is our father and my creator. He had us separated, so that our kind would not be fully exposed to the mortal world. We were shedding so much unneeded light on our kind. But we were way too young to know any better and without a mentor to teach us we just did what we felt like not caring about the rest of the outside world or even knowing that we were making so many mistakes that it could have been fatal.

That was back in 1824… never again since then have I seen my little brother… my twin… my other half… my love.

We were left to face eternity alone… like I had always feared.

But my fears were shortly subdued after the first several decades. Though I still longed for the company of my other half as the countless years went on, I became more in need of mortal blood. That alone suppressed my need for my one and only love for another… the will to survive by drinking a mortal dry…

I began feeding more frequently, four or five times a night, I grew less compassionate of mortals and their pathetic values. I just wanted blood… warm, thick, rich liquid of ever lasting life. Sweet blood from thin tender mortal’s skin. It's so easy to rip and tear their lives away from them. They're so fragile, their healing so slow. They’re so weak and powerless underneath me as I drain them of their life. It excites me beyond anything I’ve ever known over the centuries.

Other than Joel, I didn’t blood many other children, only five in my centuries of life, not including my beloved twin.

Three died, two during the process of ‘dying’ and the other ran out into the harmful rays of day light after his girlfriend left him. The pathetic specimen… I had expected so much more from him.

My two remaining children still follow me today. They are my protectors, but my children none the less.

It’s the year 2006, late February almost March… the most damnable month of the year.

It marks four very important things that no matter how old I get, no matter how many centuries pass I’ll never forget them.

My birth… my death and rebirth… and the last time I ever saw my Joely…

“Father… it’s time,” Tony whispers quietly as he stands from his usual seat in the corner.

I bled him not to long ago, in the middle of the 1950’s. He was strong, fast and quick thinking as a mortal and he shared my love for blood long before he even got to taste it as an immortal being.

Though I was very disappointed at how my first three children turned out, I couldn’t resist the urge to ask him to join me in eternal life. He was thoughtful about it but accepted in the end.

Most of my kind believed that I blooded carelessly until he came along.

Though he was in his mid twenties he knew his meager few years could not compare to his creator’s centuries. After all I still looked like I was 16 years old. But I like to think I always look older than I really am… in reality my body is still 16 though it had seen many more years than that. I can pull off 21 at tops.

My second child is a girl named Kierra. She is younger than my body, her being blooded at only 15… but she has a gift.

She is wise beyond her years as well as a very beautiful temptress. I found her blue eyes, black hair, and petite frame from my new job as a Pimp.

A vampire has to have the ability to adapt to any environment for every time frame for all eternity.

My father showed me what some immortals become after not being able to deal with the change. They go mad… stark raving lunatic mad! Worse that those who refuse to drink mortals’ blood. They usually end up in mortal prisons for life… once the thirst gets to you, you can’t control yourself… you kill relentlessly, you’ll do anything to make it stop.

I make sure that my children know the consequences of entering this life, and they do very well know that they could end up alone for the rest of eternity like I had before them.

“They’re getting better,” I chuckle clicking off the TV movie slowly standing from my old armchair.

“How do you mean?” Kierra asks with a raised eyebrow as she fixes her corset and leather skirt.

This generation disgusts me. But she must dress appropriately, even if she’s not for sale. I can’t have the business look bad. I would never make my children sink to the low level of this world; they would only look like they had.

“They’re learning fact from fiction. This Ann Rice… is a very clever woman,” I smirk as I fix my thick long black leather coat.

“Is that good or bad?” Tony asks as he grabs his keys, wallet, and his cursed fucking cell phone.

“It’s just interesting… very interesting,” I mutter still smiling as I lick my parched lips.

“Let’s go catch some breakfast,” my children smile hungrily as we leave our pent house apartment walking like shadows into the night, our stomachs growling loudly.

chapter 2. IM STILL ADDING TO THIS!!!!

*Joel’s Point of View*

Another day alive, is another night I have to kill and I will be alive until the end of this earth so I shall kill until the end of time... I can't live like this. Playing God isn't appealing to me anymore. Long ago, I would love to have the power to pick and choose who gets to live in this world, but the fun is gone. I don't want to choose anymore. I don't want to kill anymore. I don't want to be this... I never wanted to be this.

Does anybody know how it feels litterally throw your whole life away just to please the one you love?

And get this, I live forever because of it. Forever and alone.

It's not exactly the alone-ness that bugs me. I can handle spending days inside my house, sometimes even daring to take a nap my old coffin. I can handle having a few mortal friend for 5 years before they notice I haven't aged. I can handle relocating every 10 years to keep people off my back.

But I can't stand living forever, and yet I don't have to power to die. I could jump out into the brightness of the day, but I'm afraid of it. I've heard the shrieks of fellow immortals that decided to give up. I've seen their bodies turn to dust and disappear into the wind.

So, I hate what I’ve become, but there’s no escaping this life… only in a very painful death that I fear even more.

Though I've been alone for so long, sometimes I look at my window from the shadows when the sun is shining in and dare myself to take a step into the light. The golden sun shine is so amazing. Mortals take so many things for granted. The way the light sneaks around the corners and touches every surface it possibly can. Only God could create such beauty. Hence why I've realized, I am no god.

I chuckle at the ignorance I once held... at how young I once was. Given, I was probably in my 90's when Benji and I would run out into the darkness killing two worthless mortals each. We'd play games with them, rob them. Sometimes we would leave them where we killed them, sometimes we'd throw them into a river, and sometimes we would even put them on the tops of building... just for kicks.

How great life seemed then.

At that time I had lost respect for life. Once Benji was gone, I saw what I had done and got it back. The will be seen as normal again found it's way back to black heart.

So here I am now. Killing one human a night and working as waiter in an around he clock diner. At first the manager was always curious as to why I only could work at night... but he now accepts me in that he hasn't had to hire anyone else in 6 years.

6 years... I feel a move coming soon.

I can always tell when I need to find a new place to hide. It's when my 'friends' finally get the courage to ask me why I'm so pale. It's when the hobo on the side of the road that I used to give money to begins to look tasty.

It's when I think he might have found me.

I'm sorry Benji, ever since you left me I have never been able to get over what you hav done to me.

If you saw me now you'd probably laugh. No, I know that you would laugh. You'd laugh and then tease me for all that I've become.

But I'm proud of who I am. I am finally able to see myself and smile.

I don't live to kill anymore. I just kill to live.

*

“I’ll take that one,” I mutter quietly as I motion my head towards a chubby barely dressed whore sheepishly. I figure if you're resorting to live as a whore, your life is less valuable.

“Two-hundred twenty,” the skinny blonde orders as he holds out his pale bony hand. I hate this

I gently take out my wad of hard worked tips holding it out. He quickly snatches it counting it out carefully with a cold look of concentration on his face.

When he's satisfied he motions my chosen whore over to me. She’s expensive for a fat one… It’s hard to live in this day and age… it was so much easier back then… so much cheaper to.

She stumbles over to us with blazed up and blood shot eyes making me wonder what the fuck she's on. Wondering if she has so much shit in her system, what I will feel after feeding. I always hate when that happens… I don’t know how they can stand it.

“Enjoy,” the blonde cackles with a sneer that sends shivers up my spine as he walks over to his boss handing him the thick wad of money. The boss just stares at me from the shadows, as if he is trying to read my dark horrible thoughts or something. But what scares me is that I can't read his as my powers aren't actually working with me this week… not like they used to back when I was with Benji. I haven’t seen my twin for centuries. And frankly, I’m glad.

I blame him for this… this… sickness. This eternal illness that he had forced onto me, only curable by that very painful and reluctant death.

But as much as I want to hate my brother for what he’s done to me… I can’t help but love him.

He is my twin, my other half, we had shared our mother’s womb together for nine whole months, and then after that we spent our entire mortal lives together until that night… I’ll never forget it… my nightmares won’t let me.

I turn around on my heel walking down the street and into my familiar, dark, and dirty alley. More like a tomb…

The whore follows me obediently, but stops in her tracks, like an animal would as she sees the pile of corpses being touched by the unveiling light of the full moon.

She stares at the bodies in shock, her mouth falling open. She makes like she's going to scream just as I swoop down, clamping my hand over her mouth, tilting her head to the side. I pull my lips back, baring my fangs before I swiftly pierce her skin. The bitter red liquid rushes into my awaiting mouth, pass my parch lips and darting tongue. I make sure that I don't lose a single drop. Quickly, I start drinking, wanting to get this horrible act over with. I'm probably late for work.

I really hate this…

kay, tell me what you think.

Sat, 25 Jun 2005 21:49:18 GMT

fuck it.

fuck it good

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 11:56:57 GMT

Title:WIsh you were here...
Author: Me...hott_irish_men /x_tired_crazy_x
Rating:PG-13
Summary:I want to tell you I love you before I go. Before I decide it's time. Time for me to go to sleep. Not just any sleep though. The sleep where I don't wake up. I know I promised you I'd make it through this but I can't. I can't with what's going on.
Disclaimer:Not real, never happened

I never thought that you'd let me waste away. I never thought that you would watch it happen and yet not care. You don't give a shit...I know. You said we'd still talk. You said you loved me and we'd never break up. I thought you were telling the truth but boy, I was wrong. I'm always wrong about you. Always. You don't even make an effort to try to get hold of me. I hear from the doctors that you leave messages, but why don't you talk to me. I want to talk to you. I need to talk to you.

I want to tell you I love you before I go. Before I decide it's time. Time for me to go to sleep. Not just any sleep though. The sleep where I don't wake up. I know I promised you I'd make it through this but I can't. I can't with what's going on.

The guards here that are suppose to watch us are perverts. When they sedate the patients they rape then. I haven't been sedated yet...

Yet.

Funny thing is, when they sedate patients the patients aren't even doing anything crazy. I'm afraid babe, I'm really scared.

And you're not here. You're not here to save me and hold me. How come when I need you most your not there. You're there when I need something stupid, but when my life depends on you, you just leave me. To die, to rot in this shithole... Why thank you my brother. Thank you.

Is everything I do, everything I say just a card in your game of monopoly, slows you down but you still get the job done? You still win. You always win. I really don't know anymore. I just...don't. I used to be solid on us and where I stood in front of you, but as I waste away in my cell, I question whether you ever took me or anything that I said seriously. Do I matter to you anymore?

Of course the thought that you've found someone better crosses my mind all the time. Every second of every day I'm forced to think about the idea that...you've found another person that makes you feel like I made you feel. Maybe even better...

I'll never find someone like you. It's impossible! You're the epitome of beauty and perfection, you're nice and sweet, and crazy and wild and there's no one in the world that could ever be as good as you.

Here I am getting another message saying that you left a message. You've left about 5 in the past month and I've lost the will to actually read them. All they'll most likely say is, "Hope you get out soon, the family is well, we all love you, BLAH BLAH BLAH," and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the family trying get involved when they're the ones that put me in this. It's stupid and I'm done with it.

I don't see why they made us break up. I don't understand what was so wrong about us being in love. Does it really matter? I don't understand why I have to go to a mental institution while you get to rumage around free in the world. Well, actually I do understand, it WAS supposed to be you here, but remember? Do you remember anything?

Why you're free? Remember mom said that it was going to be you because you cause all of the trouble? I took your spot. And for awhile when you'd talk to me I thought maybe this was worth it, that there was a reason for this. But now I can truly and seriously say that I wish that you are here instead of me. Because if I was out there in the beautiful land that I look out and see every day I wouldn't go a day without finding a way to talk to you. And here you go. What is it now..

A month...

A year...

Not a word...

Some how...some way...for some unknown reason I actually decide to open one of the messages. Its just as I expected...except on the "From" your not there. Your name is absent. Why?

I open up the next one to find the same thing. My heart begins to slow down...slowly...painfully

I open up two more and I start crying as I read the lists and lists of names and your name is no where to be found... are you trying to be my demise...

I open up my most resent message. As my eyes graze upon the sentences I'm drivin to tears.

Dear my beautiful brother,
Hey, how is it there...that's probably not a really good question. Well...I'm leaving you a message, there's uhh, no nice way to say this so here goes...

I'm moving on...
Love you,
Benj
FROM
Benjamin Levi Madden

I finish and I'm crying so hard I can't breath. I start screaming, kicking, pushing shit around. Anything to get this frustration out.

Anything. Do you know how it feels to have all your worst fears confirmed?

Within minutes a guy in a white nurses outfit walks in and grabs my arms twisting them inward so I can't move. He hits my back in and I fall to the floor. He yells something but I'm still to hysterical to understand.

Soon another guy comes in with those needles that I thought only existed in movies...He presses it into my neck and my body goes numb. It sucks because I'm still consious... one of the guys lays me in my bed...

So Benji, You can guess what comes next. You know, I'm not going to be able to last much longer after this. What else is there to say.

I'm glad you've moved on? Sure why not.

The nurse starts taking off my clothes.

Love you Benji.

Wish you were here...instead of me.

-------------------------------------------------
Should I leave it or write more??? Please review!

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 23:51:37 GMT

Lately we've been saying so many good byes but i dont know if that can really be considered an obsession????

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 21:41:38 GMT

Title:Let you Live
Rating: NC-17
Chapter:One
Disclaimer: Not real and never will be
Summary:How far deep can you get before you hit rock bottom. And how do you know when you hitting it?? Benji's forced into prostituting for his father, what happens when Joel begin to connect the dots? How will there relationship change?

I wake up to my dad dragging me out of bed. I’m to fucking tired for my brain to fucking register the fact I am going to be fucking raped. I don’t make a sound. I don’t want to wake up my brother.

Unfortunately, Joel wakes up anyway.

“Dad? Benji? What’s going on?” He asks tired and confused.

“Nothing Joel, now go the fuck to bed,” My dad voice almost screams.

Joel gets out of bed. Don’t Joel, don’t bother! I keep on thinking.

“No dad, tell me!” Joel orders as if he knows what I am thinking and has to do the exact opposite. Fucking twin connection, god I hate it! My dad drops my hand and back hands Joel’s face. I immediately jump on my dad’s back off of instinct.

“Never hit Joel!” I whisper in a scream.

“I will do whatever I want with my son’s. You should know that Benjamin!” My dad says calmly knowing he’ll win. He shift upwards and I fall of his back to the ground.

I look to find Joel hovering above me. “You ok?” he asks. I nod my head. That didn’t hurt too badly.

“Joel, go to bed and don’t ask question. Benji will be back home tomorrow morning. Don’t worry about it he’ll be fine,” My dad says firmly. Joel has no choice. It’s either obey him and leave me to my doom, or get beat up by dad. I close my eyes so he can’t read me. I feel him give my forehead a kiss and leave me to be fucked by some guy. Dad once again grabs my hand and I feel my self literally being dragged.

My father throws me into the hallway and closes the door to my room.

“Git up!” He screeches. I do as I am told and get to my feet quickly.

“Go to my truck!” he orders. I nod my head and run to my father beat up truck.

My father gets in about 5 minutes after me.

“Now Benji, this guy is paying 50 bucks for you so you better let him fuck you crazy! You hear me!” My dad yells even though I’m sitting to feet from him.

“Yes dad,” I say. I hate it when this happens!

**Joel’s Point of View**

Something’s wrong, I can feel it in the pit my stomach. Dad’s gonna do something to Benji. For the brief second were my twin aloud me to look in his eyes the words “Save me” kept running through my head. I don’t know what dad’s doing to Benji right now. I don’t know when Benji will be home. But I’m scared for him. I’m scared and concerned. I love him so much. If he gets hurt I’ll kill daddy. Benji already gets the worse beating from dad. He doesn’t need whatever he’s getting now.

I slowly lean back in my bed so my head is resting on my pillow. I don’t like this feeling of being alone.

I want Benji!

I get off of my bed and sneak into Benji’s. I dig my head in his pillow and cry. It smells like him. If I didn’t know he was gone I would think I was lying on top of him.

BENJI COME BACK!

**Back to Benji’s P.O.V.**

My father shoves me into a room. I don’t know where I am. It’s a room that consists of condoms, lube, and a queen size bed.

Wonder what’s gonna happen in here?

Thats sarcasm.

“He’s in there,” I hear my dad’s husky voice say. The door knob turns and some old guy walks in. The man smells of alcohol, yeah, he’s one of dad’s friends for sure. He has my dad’s “group” tattoo. A snake on the left shoulder the spiral’s down to the wrist. I move to the corner of the room. I hate this. But it keeps Joel safe. Do it for Joel. If I don’t do a good job on pleasing they’ll want Joel…

I remember the first time it happened. I cried through it and the guy didn’t get anything. Dad said if I screwed up again he’d get Joel to do it. I won’t let Joel lose his virginity. Not like this!

“Get on the bed,” The man orders. I do as told.

Suddenly I feel the man’s lips on mine, the foul taste of beer and crack filling my mouth. I want to puke so bad; but then dad might go get Joel and I don’t want that!

The guy parts his lips and shoves his tongue in my mouth. I almost puke but instead make a gagging noise.

“Take of your clothes boy!” The man orders me. I once again do as I am told. If I protest I will only get hurt.

“FASTER” the guy screams as I take my wife beater off. He rips my boxers of exposing my limp erection. Like hell I’m gonna get hard off of this. The man strips himself showing off his hard on. GROSS!

He shoves a condom on his dick. I mentally let out a sigh of relief. At least he’s somewhat smart. You must be pretty stupid to want to fuck a 14 year old. I don’t watch as he lubes himself up. Why would I?

Then the man pushes me to lie down on my back and spreads my legs.

God I hate this.

He shoves his dick in my ass and I squeeze my eyes shut!

HELP ME!

He pulls out and pushes back in roughly. The pain subsides but there’s no pleasure. Why would I enjoy being raped? My dad opens the door and sticks his head in. There’s a grin on his face! OH MY GOD!

My dad is proud his son is being fucking raped.

My dad throws his head back in…pleasure!?!?!

I follow his hand down to his pants. Holy shit! My dad is jerking off to this. I am crying. I am crying so hard. I wish someone would save me. I don’t like this! The man finally cums in the condom and falls next to me on the bed and I roll of the bed.

My legs hurt so badly! They’re numb. I find my boxers in the corner of the room along with my wife beater. I put those on and feel my dad drag me to the truck.

I want to close my eyes and forget what just happened.

My own father was jerking off to me being raped. I hope he liked the old guy and not me.

I’m 14 years old! This isn’t right! 14 year olds are not supposed to have to worry about shit like this. We’re supposed to be worried about girls! Not the next time there father wants to use them as a prostitute!

Every time I close my eyes I see the man’s face and can hear his moans. His taste is still in my mouth. The gross taste and the smell of he breathe.

The truck pulls in the driveway. My father unlocks the door and puts his hand on my shoulder.

“Good job son!” He says. I ignore him and run upstairs into my room.

I run to the bathroom that’s in me and Joel’s room. I put the shower on hot, take my clothes off, and get in. The hot water immediately burns my skin. But I need to get this man off of me. I need to get these thoughts out of me.

I’m so messed up right now! Everything is so wrong. I can’t help to just cry.

The door opens and closes. “Who’s in here?” I ask.

I feel a hand on my back and I push it away.

“Benj what’s wrong?” Joel asks concern filling the features in his face as he sticks his head in the shower. He turns the water on cooler and then still in his boxers gets in here himself.

Joel.

He’s wonderful to me. I know I am naked and should be embarrassed but I’m not. Joel’s seen me naked a million times before.

I wrap my arms around him and just cry. He rubs my back in circles and cries as well.

Reviews?

Mon, 30 May 2005 15:20:49 GMT

no new obsessions at the moment besides song writing... thats probably gonna take up most of our time right now we wanna record some songs... o and of course thinking about Conner and Murphy ALWAYZ!!!

Sun, 29 May 2005 20:32:43 GMT

today our obsession was containing and keeping hyperness by drinking lots and lots of soda!!! we got awesome wristbands... o nd we're gonna have a little fun with our friend Josh-oo-a the liger boy or better known as a butterfly (dont ask long story) ok thatz enough for now.. bye bye

Sat, 28 May 2005 13:17:42 GMT

It took us a long time to figure this layout out...and it still sux...but its pretty cool...in and odd..fucked...up...way...Kinda like us!!!! So...yeah shutting up.
Much love...(Us)

Sat, 28 May 2005 12:59:15 GMT

hey those new to this journal!! this is a journal about our... ummm... somewhat healthy obsessions. cant really say if they're that healty but o well we'll live.